The Internet defines neckbeard as a negative term to describe an overweight male who trolls and does other antisocial behavior. They lack personal hygiene, eat a lot of junk food, and live almost exclusively online. Neckbeards are misogynistic, often without being aware of it, and prone to schadenfreude, the pleasure a person feels from seeing the misfortune of others (Rosewarne, 2016; Urban Dictionary, 2010).
The term refers to their unkempt appearance and poor hygiene. A messy beard (or in the case of women extensive leg hair) acts as a symbol for the inner state of these people. It is meant to paint the people as repulsive.They often violate social boundaries and lack self-reflection. One Reddit user (Tadbitpole95, 2020) shares her encounter with this social boundary problem:
Now, I get constant texts (probably once in 2~3 days) about how he respects women and would “always treat me with respect because he respected me from the day we met”. Some other things he says on a regular basis, out of the blue:
[…]
• “I think you shouldn’t use protection if you’re going to have um intercourse because as a healthy attractive young woman in her 20s, part of your function in society is to have children… DON’T GET ME WRONG YOU DON’T HAVE TO, I respect your career goals and such but you know” (sounded like he was shitting himself violently mid speech)
• “I think female masturbation is a very natural and healthy act… like a fuck you to male oppression … I would encourage that among my female friends who I care about…” (wtf?)
The man messaging this woman apparently fails to see how misogynistic his statements are. He attempts to dictate his viewpoint on her and is apparently unable to reflect on how these messages would be received. Many of these men also use overly formal language, which they view as polite, such as m’lady, and are not aware that such language can create cringe. Neckbeards and weeaboo sit within the greater cringe culture that exists online. Cringe culture centers on the natural reaction of disgust and discomfort (shorthanded as cringe) we have when we encounter something we consider awkward or repulsive. Cringe toward other people usually results from their appearance and their behavior. Usually, this involves the breaking of cultural taboos such as the conversation I quoted above. The lack of boundaries, self-awareness, and misogyny of neckbeards combine to create these situations. NoStateGreenery (2020) shares a story that comes from this combination:
Streetcat and Rathead were quick to notice that Hobbitbeard wasn’t a pleasant roommate. He would constantly try to integrate himself into their conversations, kinda creepily hover around them or even get out of bed in the morning as soon as he heard them being awake. Streetcat began to suspect that he had a crush on her. He acted even weirder around her and always tried to invite himself in, when she was going somewhere with us. Critical point is, that Hobbitbeard is 35 years old, ten years older than Streetcat. I mean yes, there are lovers with a bigger difference but you gotta reflect – This kinda old dude still lives like someone who just moved out of home – and acts exactly like us, people who legitimately just moved out from our parents houses. Streetcat began to be disgusted by him and Rathead started trying to avoid him as well. But oh boy, this wasn’t the end of it.
These stories touch on other characteristics surrounding neckbeard. These men often live at home or otherwise lack adult responsibilities. They are emotionally immature, as exemplified with their inability to perform basic hygiene or have interests beyond a narrow range. Parental overprotection appears to prevent social maturity. Parental financial support allows neckbeards and hikikomori live a life relatively free of adult responsibilities, such as bill-paying, work, and all the other responsibilities these entail. This isn’t to lay all blame on parents. However, their understandable concern prevents and slows a child’s maturation into adulthood.
Neckbeards associate with video games, anime, Magic the Gathering, comic books, Dungeons & Dragons, movies, and sports. The interest in sports isn’t as widely recognized compared to the “nerd” hobbies. Sportaku tend to get a free pass in society because of their social focus, but you can see these sports neckbeards among the fans who ogle the cheerleaders while expressing their fandom through body paint (and no shirt). They share the same characteristics as “nerd” neckbeards.
These sports-focused people tend to forego the usual attire of neckbeards–trenchcoats, fedoras, and katanas–in favor of the clothes of their favorite teams. They tend to wear little else. But they also tend to be rarer compared to the so-called nerd neckbeards. Neckbeards attempt to dress like men from the 1950s, but many do it in a frumpy way.
The diagram above gives you a rough idea of the overlap among incels, neckbeards, and weeaboo. Neckbeards and incels share the traits of misogyny and hatred, whereas weeaboo don’t have this as a significant trait. Misogyny becomes a conscious act among incels while neckbeards often remain unaware of theirs. Neckbeards overlap with weeaboo through their interests in anime, video games, and other hobbies. However, weeaboo tend to be more hygienic (when not attending conventions anyway). Weeaboo and neckbeards share the same problems with social boundaries, if expressed in different ways. Neckbeards tend to be more sexual than weeaboo, who tend to have disruptive behaviors taken from anime. Both like Japanese culture, or rather, their ideas of Japanese culture as understood through the media they consume. Most won’t read Japanese literature or take time to look at the deeper aspects of the culture they claim to love and embody.
Incels can be more violent than neckbeards. Both share a resentment and a lust toward women along with a sense of entitlement toward women’s bodies as “nice guys.” When that entitlement isn’t reached, resentment becomes hate. Neckbeards tend to be unfocused in their hate, unlike incels (Rosewarne, 2016). This hate comes out in indirect ways, such as frustration. The online world offers an outlet and offers a kind a power for them.
The three groups overlap roughly as I diagrammed based on these shared characteristics. They separate in their emphasis.
Neckbeards are a result of Internet culture and social awkwardness. Many seem to have grown up without responsibilities, living instead in fandoms and virtual worlds that stunted the development of their social abilities. Many seem to be stuck in the early teen years. The inability to be self-reflective stands as, perhaps, their greatest fault. The lack prevents any sort of correction or expansion of interests. Fortunately, people who fall into this category can change if they want to. The label neckbeard loses its usefulness whenever it makes people feel trapped and discourages changing for the better so we should be cautious how we use it, just as we should be cautious with the use of any label.
References
Infinitytacos989 (2020) how do you go 62 days without a shower?? Reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/gk5gzv/how_do_you_go_62_days_without_a_shower/
NoStateGreenery (2020) Neckbeard pities himself after not getting Pussy from his Roomates. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/neckbeardstories/comments/gv5xvv/neckbeard_pities_himself_after_not_getting_pussy/
Rosewarne, Lauren (2016) Cyberbullies, Cyberactivists, Cyberpredators: Film. TV, and Internet Stereotypes. ABC-CLIO.
Tadbitpole95 (2020) Neckbeard wanted to know if I’m a virgin. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/neckbeardstories/comments/gtbs7j/neckbeard_wanted_to_know_if_im_a_virgin/
Urban Dictionary (2010) Neckbeard https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=neckbeard
